Author: Church of the Nativity

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Glad Tidings

Farewell from Cuyler O’Connor

Dear Friends,

I am sitting in my office with a heavy, but excited, heart as I type this letter. It is hard for me to say goodbye, but a calling to the Diaconate is leading me forward to an internship at St. Michael’s Raleigh. I recently met with my Spiritual Director, Rev. Winston Charles, and had a “thin moment” around being open but also being still. In my conversation I thought about mentors in my life but then thought about a “body/institution” being a mentor to me, and that “body” is the Church of Nativity. There has not been one time in this process that Nativity has not been on the sidelines cheering me on; everyone truly wants the best for me, and that is not only authentic but also a blessing. The church has been the one place I can get away from all the corporate trappings and agendas and truly be myself. This is what God wants for us all. I have too many to thank for support and love, and please know I support and love you all. My door is always open; if you send me a text/email it will always be read, and I will be forever grateful for my Nativity faith family.  

One of my favorite songs that I use to sing in camp as a kid said, “Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you” (Ephesians 4:32). This is the embodiment of what Church of Nativity is to me–living in Christ together, forgiving, being compassionate, and making the world a better place.

Sarah and the girls are really excited for me and what the future holds: most importantly taking it one day at a time and enjoying myself. They have witnessed my development as I continue to discern a calling and I also ask for your continued prayers as I continue to “lean into” this. Also, we feel it best that they continue to attend Church of the Nativity, as the youth programming is of such importance for the girls as they spiritually develop. I think if there is one thing we have learned in the past two years, it is to be flexible. I would be remiss if I did not give a shout out to my “Christian Essentials” peeps. That stage of formation really gave me assurance and confidence that a calling was speaking to me and really kept our souls healthy in a time of uncertainty.

Peaceful blessings, 

Cuyler

Categories
Outreach

Leesville Elementary Backpack Program Gearing Up

Lillis Ward, Outreach Team

I am so excited to announce that Leesville Elementary School is gearing up to have the Pride Packs Program back in full swing this week.  They are restocking the shelves; the social worker is helping to identify children for the program, and plans are falling into place for a successful year. The PTA leader who is in charge this year said that they are heavily dependent on churches for monetary and food donations and hope we can pick up where we left off in March 2020. 55 children have already been identified as food insecure. Through your pledges and donations, the church Outreach Team was able to make a sizable monetary donation to help get the year started. 

So, Church of the Nativity, get ready! There will be a collection box in the Narthex of the church the 1st Sunday of each month. In addition, there will be a collection basket in Corlett Hall where donations can be dropped off at any time. Church volunteers will drop the food donations off to the school office the first week of the month and from there, school volunteers will assemble the backpacks for the students. Each backpack will contain 2 breakfasts 2 lunches, 2 suppers, and snacks to give the students enough food for the weekend. Foods purchased need to be individual food serving containers (no large boxes please). If you can find cans with pull top lids, that is helpful so children don’t have to struggle with a can opener. See the attached list for recommended items. Monetary donations need to be written to LES PTA.    

Here is a tangible way we can make a difference in the lives of our youngest learners. Please join us in the effort to curb hunger.

Categories
Glad Tidings

Caring for Our Couple Relationship: Peaks and Valleys in Our Relationship

There are “peaks and valleys” in every relationship as we go through our years of being together.  “Peaks” are when all is going smoothly, “Valleys” are when we are struggling or when there is outside stress. Some of these are a normal part of the relationship cycle, like the birth or adoption of a child, a memorable vacation or trip together, a medical issue that one is facing, or loss of a job.  By realizing that both peaks and valleys are a normal part of your relationship, you can anticipate some of them and communicate with each other about your feelings and your needs during those times.

For your couple discussion,  

  • share some of the peak times that you have experienced in your relationship.  Talk about the feelings that you have had during those times.
  • share about some of the valleys that have happened to you as a couple.  What was that like for each of you? Again, be sure that you share the feelings. 

Also, it is good to remember that there are small valleys in the peaks and small peaks in the valleys. For instance, when you have been on a wonderful trip, something may occur that causes a valley, like a disagreement or a disappointment.  But hopefully, you choose not to stay there but go back to your peak.  The same would be true of a valley that you have or are experiencing.  Right now, many of us are experiencing a valley with the “pandemic” that we are in.   But even in the middle of this experience there can be a peak time or moment, like watching your children or grandchildren play, having quiet time together, fixing and eating a meal together, exploring some place together that both feel safe and comfortable together.  Remember to ask for help if you seem to be stuck in the valleys. And remember to acknowledge the peaks.

Carl and Nancy Terry

Categories
Outreach Uncategorized

Caring for our Neighbors in Haiti

As I sat on my patio this morning drinking coffee and listening to the birds’ morning songs, my thoughts traveled across the waters to our brothers and sisters in Haiti. What a different morning they are experiencing from the one I woke to enjoy. One week ago on August 14 , their morning routine was shattered by a devastating 7.2 magnitude earthquake 80 miles east of their capital, Port-au-Prince. Similar in location and severity to the earthquake in 2010, gone were homes, grocery stores, hospitals, places of employment, and churches. Gone were lives of parents, children, and friends. Today they are faced with searching for loved ones, clean water to drink, food supplies, shelter, and first aid.      

Our church has a long-standing connection with Haiti in that we have financially supported the Haiti Reforestation Project for years. Members of our church have served on their board of directors and still do today. Because Haiti has a special place in our hearts, the Outreach Team has responded to this earthquake crisis by sending a donation from the Outreach budget to the Episcopal Relief and Development Fund. This 501(3)c non-profit has been in existence since 1940, when it was called the Presiding Bishop’s Fund with a mission to help refugees fleeing Europe during and after WWII. In the 80 years since, ERD has evolved and broadened its mission to include humanitarian aid, disaster relief, sustainable development, climate change, combating gender-based violence, and early childhood education. These efforts touch at least 3 million lives each year. If you are interested in helping ERD in their relief efforts in Haiti or to learn more about this organization, please visit their site here.  

Lillis Ward

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Glad Tidings

Caring for our Couple Relationship: Exploring our Commitment

Commitment! What does it mean? Where are we at this time of our lives together in our commitment? If you said your vows in front of witnesses, what did the commitment mean to you? Would you change or add to any of those commitments? What would that look like?

First, let us explore the word commitment. Commitment means you are willing to share a large part of your life with another person. It involves honest communication with each other. “Sticking together through thick and thin”, through the good times and the not-so-good times.

On our wedding day, we promised to be together “for better or worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness, and in health, to love and to cherish.” We were married in a Baptist church, but these words are very universal.  Some of you may have written your own vows. Some may be considering what your vows would be?

We invite you to explore your past and present commitment by having a dialogue with each other about your memories of that first commitment and anything you might want to add or amend today.

  1. Recall your initial vows. Where did they occur? What did you commit to?
  2. Would you say the same things today? Would you add/or delete anything?
  3. Have you had a recommitment ceremony or considered having one?
  4. What commitments have you made to your partner other than what you said in your vows?
  5. What is the most important commitment that your partner has made to you?
  6. Are there other commitments that may get in the way of your commitment to your couple relationship (work, family. career, friends, volunteering, etc.)?

You have an opportunity to have a deep sharing in your couple relationship, whether is at its beginning or you have been together for a long time. Choose a time when you can explore your commitment and recommit to each other.

-Carl and Nancy Terry

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Glad Tidings

Caring for our Couple Relationship: Balancing Feeling and Thinking

When we come together in our couple relationship, we bring our own unique personalities. Carl Jung and others, like Myers and Briggs, have helped us develop a better understanding of ourselves and those with whom we interact most closely – our partner, our spouse.

Typically, we do not marry someone with a personality just like ourselves.  Most couples find that they were attracted to each other because of those personality differences like introvert/extrovert or Thinking vs. Feeling.   While those differences initially attract us to others, the closer we become those same differences can become the rubs or pinches in our relationship.

In this blog, we will focus on Thinking and Feeling. Everyone has both traits and usually we are a blend, but we have a preference.

What do we mean by Thinking and Feeling? We will use the personality preferences definitions of Myers Briggs.

Feeling-oriented individuals prefer to make their best decisions by weighing what people care about and what is best for the people involved.  They try to establish or maintain harmony. They make decisions with their heart and want to be compassionate.

Thinking individuals prefer to find the basic truth or principle involved regardless of the situation, using logically consistent pros and cons.  They tend to be impersonal and do not let personal wishes or other people’s wishes influence them.

So how do we resolve these differences or use them to make the best decisions for us as a couple.  We can choose to argue with each other trying to get our point of view across or we can listen to each other and accept the differences. We need to remember that we are a team. We can then use the strength of each of us to make the best decision for us as a couple.

Homework: Decide if you have a thinking or feeling preference. Is there something you need to share with your partner? Then take responsibility for you own thoughts and feelings. Step back and assess what you are thinking and feeling. Let your partner know what you are thinking/feeling. They are not mind readers.  Use your best communication skills to share with each other your point of view.  Remember to listen to each other.

-Carl and Nancy Terry

Categories
Outreach Social Justice

Nativity Members Exceed Goal for the First Nativity/Raleigh-Apex NAACP Scholarship Fund

Members of the Nativity Social Justice Advocacy Team and the Outreach Team are proud to announce that the new scholarship fund introduced in February has completed its 2021 campaign (as of April 30.) Our goal for this first year was to provide the Raleigh-Apex NAACP with at least $1,000 to provide one scholarship for college to a young adult of color. The final results are in and, thanks to the generous support of many, Nativity will be providing $8,026 to support the scholarship fund for 2021. That translates into eight scholarships for deserving college applicants!

The scholarship was announced in February as part of Nativity’s long-term commitment to becoming a beloved community, striving for justice and peace for all people and respecting the dignity of every human being.

NAACP Chapter President Gerald Givens refers to our effort as the “Episcopal Church of the Nativity/Raleigh-Apex Scholarship Fund.” He is hoping that our cooperation with this effort will encourage other Episcopal churches in Wake County to help grow this scholarship fund in the next few years. The program just began within the past four years and Givens was delighted that we wanted to be on the ground floor and help make a difference.

Education is a key element of success for most people and it is our hope that helping motivated and talented students of color to continue their education after high school will help move our nation closer to economic and social equity.

Any donations received after April 30 will be applied to our scholarship fund for 2022.  Many thanks to all who have helped this year!

-George Douglas

Categories
Social Justice

Social Justice at Nativity

In the second Glad Tidings issue of each month, Nativity’s Social Justice Committee will share announcements, events and recommended resources with the Nativity Community as we continue our pursuit of racial justice and reconciliation.

Announcements & Events

Anti-Racism Training

Dismantling Racism: Reclaiming Our Baptismal Promise

May 21, 5-8 pm & May 22, 9 am -1 pm

Via Zoom @ no cost

Click here to register.

This interactive workshop, conducted by the diocese’s Racial Justice and Reconciliation Committee, is designed to “deepen spiritual commitment to dismantling racism. Through presentations, prayer, story sharing, videos and small group discussion, participants explore how the sin of racism impacts all lives.”

Social Justice Book Club

Please join us via Zoom (connect here) on Tuesday, June 1 at 7:30 pm, for our June Book Club – Eloquent Rage: A Black Feminist Discovers her Superpower, by Brittney Cooper.  The book can be purchased or borrowed from Wake County libraries.

Recommended Resources

Racial Justice and Reconciliation (Episcopal Diocese of North Carolina) – Website

This website (click here) is updated regularly with social justice programs recommended by the diocese’s Racial Justice and Reconciliation Committee.

Sounds Like Hate – Podcast

A podcast produced by the Southern Poverty Law Center, Sounds Like Hate is “an audio documentary series about the dangers and peril of everyday people who engage in extremism, and ways to disengage them from a life of hatred.” The podcast can be found online here or on your favorite podcast app, such as Apple Podcasts or Spotify.

-Anne Krouse

Categories
From the Clergy

Consider the Rainbow

Last Saturday, Marilyn and I watched the beautiful, poignant funeral of Prince Philip in St. George’s Chapel at Windsor Castle from start to finish.

It struck me, a few days before the annual observance of Earth Day, how evident Philip’s lifelong dedication to conservation of our planet was.  When the World Wildlife Fund was begun in 1961, he was a founding member and served as president of its British Appeal until 1996.  His lifelong passion for the welfare of God’s creation was reflected in the scriptures and liturgy which he chose for his funeral.

After the choir sang the Navy Hymn, the first lesson was from Ecclesiasticus 43 (the Wisdom of Sirach, in the Apocrypha of our Bibles). Consider the beauty of these verses:

Look at the rainbow and praise its Maker; it shines with a supreme beauty, rounding the sky with its gleaming arc, a bow bent by the hands of the Most High. His command speeds the snow storm and sends the swift lightning to execute his sentence. To that end the storehouses are opened, and the clouds fly out like birds. By his mighty power the clouds are piled up and the hailstones broken small. The crash of his thunder makes the earth writhe, and, when he appears, an earthquake shakes the hills. At his will the south wind blows, the squall from the north and the hurricane. He scatters the snow-flakes like birds alighting; they settle like a swarm of locusts. The eye is dazzled by their beautiful whiteness, and as they fall the mind is entranced. He spreads frost on the earth like salt, and icicles form like pointed stakes. A cold blast from the north, and ice grows hard on the water, settling on every pool, as though the water were putting on a breastplate. He consumes the hills, scorches the wilderness, and withers the grass like fire. Cloudy weather quickly puts all to rights, and dew brings welcome relief after heat. By the power of his thought he tamed the deep and planted it with islands. Those who sail the sea tell stories of its dangers, which astonish all who hear them; in it are strange and wonderful creatures, all kinds of living things and huge sea-monsters. By his own action he achieves his end, and by his word all things are held together.

Music which he requested for the service included two works which he had commissioned:  Benjamin Britten’s Jubilate Deo (Psalm 100) and William Lovelady’s setting of Psalm 104, that magnificent hymn to Creation.

It seemed appropriate that this beautiful service should take place just a few days before the annual observance of Earth Day. As we rejoice in the beauty of this Spring season, may we always be mindful of the need to respect and continue to care for this marvelous gift.

I invite you to enjoy William Lovelady’s setting of Psalm 104, as it was sung at Prince Philip’s service:

Blessings to you all, dear friends.

David

Categories
From the Clergy

Easter in the Communion of Saints

There is a reason why many churches begin their Easter Vigil service outside in their columbarium, or memorial garden, or church cemetery. It hearkens back to the ancient Christian practice of worshipping in the catacombs, celebrating resurrection in the midst of the dead as a reminder that death is not the end. The light of Christ: Thanks be to God.

It is often easy to see signs of resurrected life in the signs and wonders of spring in the western hemisphere. The budding trees, the flowers emerging from bulbs planted in the fall. But wait, even those signs harken back to images of death. Trees must lose their leaves before they can bud. We have watched them bare all winter. Bulbs must be planted in the fall, as leaves fall, harvest is gathered, and growth lies dormant, waiting in stillness. All of us go down to the dust; yet even at the grave we make our song: Alleluia, alleluia, alleluia.

This Easter in particular, I feel like I am celebrating new life while in the midst of the communion of saints. I have never experienced Easter in this way before. Somehow, imagining the communion of saints, all those who have gone on before, either in the year 2020, the first few months of 2021, or hundreds, thousands, years before that – I can picture them, gathering around us, surrounding us as we slowly creep out of a pandemic, as we try to imagine what new life will look like post-vaccine, as we wait in hope to no longer be afraid. And one was a doctor and one was a priest and one was slain by a fierce wild beast.

They surround us. They support us. They pray for us. We have a funny “both/and” with our idea of saints in the Episcopal Church. On the one hand, we believe that there were exemplary Christians who lived lives of great faithfulness that we can emulate and celebrate. On the other hand, we call every baptized person who has died a saint in the communion of saints. Which is correct? Well… both. Our lives are lived, our faith has ups and downs, but God is merciful and just and does not leave or reject us. Sunday School teacher: What do you think Jesus did when he went down to hell for those three days? The child: He was looking for his friend Judas, of course.

There is a mural inside the Episcopal Church of St. Gregory of Nyssa in San Francisco. It is a mural of dancing saints. And it is all the saints in every shape, form, color, age. And they dance around the church. And when worship is over, the congregation joins hands, and dances out of the church, a reminder that that they are surrounded always by the communion of saints, and they themselves are saints going out into the world as disciples to share God’s love. This Easter, may you join the dance and feel surrounded by the love of all the saints. Alleluia! Christ is risen! The Lord is risen indeed! Alleluia!

You can watch a video of the Dancing Saints and read more about it here.