Carl and Nancy Terry
We encourage couples to have a regular sharing time. It is a time that is set aside for each one to briefly share events, thoughts, feelings that they feel good about or something you have been thinking about. We give our partner our full attention to listen and support them. It is also a time for compliments or a thank you.
Decide on a time that is good for both of you, a time when there are fewer distractions of work or children to bed. Time to set aside would be 10 to 20 minutes. Set the scene, have a cup of coffee, take a walk, or find a special place for the two of you.
Just talking and sharing is great, but another method is the “Ten and Ten.” This means writing down your thoughts and feelings for ten minutes and then sharing for ten minutes. Find the way that works best for you as a couple.
This is not a time for problem solving, resolving conflicts, or scheduling. Topics may arise that require a longer discussion and resolution. Then you would decide on a time to talk about these things.
A great way to close this sharing time is with a compliment or appreciation of each other. A hug or a kiss can also be a part of this sharing time.
Commit to a time for a week and then adjust if necessary. You may need to experiment to find the best time and whether talking or writing works for you as a couple. Remember that you want to keep this time special and pleasant. This time of sharing will add to your loving relationship.