Category: Glad Tidings

This is a challenging time for couples and their relationships.  We have been asked to “stay at home.” Unless we are part of the essential workforce, we may both be working from home, or one of us is working from home, or one or both of us have been furloughed or doesn’t have a job. If we have children, they are home and our job as parents has increased and is demanding. We may have parents, relatives, or friends that we are concerned about getting the COVID-19 virus.

We would like to share with you our thoughts about what you can do as a couple to focus on the opportunities that you have to maintain and strengthen your relationship. Communication and fun are two important things to remember.

A good tool for communication is to do a daily check in. Not just about things that must be done, but also about our feelings.  “I am feeling scared”.  “I am feeling overwhelmed.”   An important part of that check-in is to ask, “How can I express my love for you today?”  Maybe you are not able with children and/or jobs to do this daily, but once a week at least would be good.   You can find a private time to share, but don’t worry if the children hear you.  You are setting a good model for them.

Don’t forget to have fun and enjoy each other.  Set aside a Date Night, a special time to be close and focus on each other.  Some couples have reported that they dress up as if they were going out, set a special table, either cook or order a special meal. You can take turns planning the date or you can plan together. During the meal, focus the conversation on each other. Laugh, smile, share good memories of your relationship.  You can also leave Love Notes for them to find.  You can be brief: “I love you.” Or “ I care for you.” Etc.  Consider Physical touch, not only sexual intimacy, but a hug, a brief touch, holding hands, a back rub, or a foot massage.  As a couple living together. we can continue to be physically close which is so important to our well-being.

Carl and Nancy Terry

Marriage Mentors 

Nancyterry20@gmail.com

If your past few weeks have been anything like mine, daily life has changed dramatically! My typically busy schedule has transitioned to long, slow days of communicating online and over the phone, all while wondering what the future will bring for my family and the world. Rushed lunch packing and last-minute dinners have given way to baking and leisurely meal preparation with my family. I have also tremendously enjoyed the many opportunities I have had to communicate with members of our church community on a personal level during these weeks. I’ve grown closer to friends and started new friendships. Sunday morning hellos and handshakes have become heartfelt phone conversations. Sharing the Lord’s Prayer with fellow parishioners over the phone or on a video call is as powerful as any spiritual experience I have ever had, in or out of church.

For many, this pandemic has brought not a welcome slower pace of life, but unprecedented health, personal, and financial crisis. Stores have closed, people have suddenly lost their jobs, and the unemployment rate has climbed to 33%. A student whose family was doing fine on Thursday reached out to me on Friday to say that circumstances had changed and they were almost out of food for the five people in their apartment. I directed him to resources and can only hope that his family was able to access them. The needs of our congregation and our greater community are deep and growing deeper. For those of us who are financially able, giving generously has never been more important than now. Although in-person church and meetings are temporarily cancelled, Nativity’s services to the congregation and community, and therefore the church’s financial needs, are not cancelled. Our church depends upon the donations of members and visitors to pay salaries, pay for our mortgage, maintain our buildings and grounds, and fund our many programs. Non-pledged regular giving and loose plate offerings make up almost 20% of our budgeted income, yet without offering plates to receive them, we risk losing these contributions.

I am asking you, if you are able, to join me in continuing your pledge contributions and regular giving. Fortunately, it has never been easier to do so! Thanks to the multi-talented Rene Garces, our Junior Warden, the church mailbox now has a lock to ensure that your mailed contributions are secure. Regular deposits continue. Our mailing address is: 8849 Ray Road, Raleigh, NC 27613. For those who wish to pay online, WeShare, Paypal, and Venmo are all now available here on the Nativity website. In about 10 minutes this morning, I was able to set up a Venmo account, download the app to my phone, link my debit card, and make my pledge contribution. It was so easy–I’ll never write a check again! If you typically toss a few bills in the collection plate on Sundays in addition to your pledge or regular giving, consider contributing a similar amount by check or via one of the online options.

Someday soon, we will be reunited to worship and praise God together. What a joyous day that will be! As we watch and wait for that eagerly anticipated reunion, let us show our faithfulness to each other by whatever means we can. Call the friend you’ve been meaning to check in with. Join one of the many Zoom calls available each week to connect with our fellow parishioners. Watch church on Facebook Live on Sundays at 10:30–it isn’t the same as the real thing, but I promise that it is very, very special. And if you are able, please continue your financial contributions to the church. Thank you all for your faith and dedication in caring for one another and the world.

In Christ,

Carrie

Acts 20:35 tells us it is better to give than to receive. For about eight months now, when four young grandsons moved in with us last summer, Sharon and I have lived on the receiving side of that Scriptural equation. Realizing we were short on everything, we put out quiet calls for help.  We were rapidly embraced with offers of clothing, food, aid and comfort. Help has come from friends, neighbors, family, so many people at Nativity, and people we’ve never met.  It has been a truly heartwarming experience, and expanded our appreciation for this beautiful congregation. This past Saturday, a parishioner left bags of grapes and apples, another reminder of the kindness and love that has not stopped flowing our way for many months now.

As humbling as this has been, we have learned so much from this experience. We have enjoyed wonderful meals, received countless donations, and the grandkids met many wonderful people. One of the most challenging aspects of these months has been accepting help, and more so, asking for it. We all believe we can do it ourselves, for however long it takes, by ourselves. Those ideas are ingrained in our good ol’ fashioned Protestant work-ethic DNA, so hard to overcome.

If, at some point, you or your family run out of energy, out of time, out of patience or maybe out of money, don’t despair.  In this stressful and volatile environment, it is not unusual. We can also personally vouch for this lesson:  There is no shame, no reduction in status, no diminishment of image within our community from asking for help. We did experience an enormous surge of relief and love when we put aside our pride and opened the door for help. If you find yourself walking on the edge of being overwhelmed, or actively sliding down that slope, please reach out. Contact Stephanie, David, a Stephen minister, one of our amazing Vestry members, or any friendly parishioner, and start that conversation. We’re not questioning Paul’s guidance in Acts; we are offering an alternative perspective. Make that call, we are so thankful we did.

Matt Chytka  Sharon Waidler

The 2019 annual meeting was held Sunday November 17, 2019 at 9:30 am.

The 2019 annual report has been placed on our website and can be accessed from the bottom of the giving page (Church Life, Giving tabs).

It is also available directly from this post by clicking the highlighted text above.

We want to hear which are your preferred communication methods to ensure we are effectively reaching parishioners. The Communications Team has developed a survey which is currently live. Select Read More and then follow the link to open the survey. We need as many respondents as possible to ensure all voices are heard. The survey is open to all members and regular visitors. We are listening!

Click Here to open the Survey.

When the Book of Common Prayer was reissued in 1979, it offered contemporary English usage (“Rite II”) as an alternative to the Elizabethan English usage (“Rite I”) that BCPs had used since the first in 1549. At Nativity we have almost always used Rite II in our worship services.

One interesting feature of Rite II, however, is that it provides a choice of wording for the Lord’s Prayer. The traditional version from Rite I may be used. It’s an anomaly in a rite that otherwise uses contemporary English. At Nativity in recent years we have alternated between the traditional Lord’s Prayer and the contemporary version first written by an ecumenical and scholarly group, the International Consultation on English Texts, in the early 1970s. The ICET version was adopted for the 1979 BCP.

There’s really only one substantive difference between the two versions. The traditional version reads “lead us not into temptation” and the contemporary version reads “save us from the time of trial”. What’s that about?

The translation of the first clause of Matthew 6:13 has been an issue for decades. The essential objection to the traditional language is that God would never tempt us – and therefore it’s inappropriate to pray that God not do something that God would never do anyway. The Letter of James says clearly, “No one, when tempted, should say, ‘I am being tempted by God’; for God cannot be tempted by evil and he himself tempts no one.”

The issue turns on the translation of two words in the Greek manuscripts, eisenenkes and peirasmon. Many scholars say that the meaning of “temptation” in English has shifted over the centuries and that peirasmon in this context is mainly an eschatological reference to the period immediately prior to the second coming of Christ. As you might imagine, however, traditionalists and particularly the evangelicals who see the Bible in general (and often the King James Version in particular) as literally true and inerrant have fervently defended “lead us not into temptation” – in particular the position that eisenenkes was accurately translated all along.

You see this split among bible publishers too. The 1952 Revised Standard Version, favored by The Episcopal Church at the time, retained the traditional wording. Nearly all bibles targeted for the evangelical community still do. However, the 1970 New English Bible wrote “do not put us to the test”.  The 1986 version of the New American Bible of the Roman Catholic Church chose “do not subject us to the final test”. And finally the 1989 New Revised Standard Version, which we have read in public worship at Nativity since it was published, went with “do not bring us to the time of trial”.

Liturgical texts have different objectives. While a liturgical text must be faithful to the meaning of the Greek or Latin, it should also be easy to speak and sing, easy to hear clearly, and easy to remember. So far, The Episcopal Church has stuck with the ICET version and the traditional version in parallel. In its 1980 Alternative Service Book and again in its 2000 Common Worship, the Church of England split the difference by using contemporary language but retaining “lead us not into temptation”.

As a community, we use liturgical texts authorized by General Convention and chosen by our Rector, Stephanie, under the guidance of our Bishop. As an individual Episcopalian, you are free to take any position on this and to use either version in your devotions. Personally I prefer the ICET version because I find the scholastic arguments for it more compelling, but I acknowledge that there’s room for a different view. I encourage you to reflect on the two versions and see what the Spirit tells you.

Nativity Field Trip!

Join Fellow Nativity Members for a walking tour in Durham, April 27, 10am-11:30am followed by an optional lunch.  The title of the tour is “Pauli’s Durham: History of Racial Segregation in the West End Neighborhood”, and will focus on the significance of Black Civil War soldiers, the Freedman Schools movement, unsung shero Pauli Murray – her multi-racial ancestry and heritage, and Pauli’s long history of relentless activism.  One of the first African American woman Episcopal priest in North Carolina (and one of the first women priests in the US) as well as an unsung force for social justice, Pauli Murray was recently named to the Episcopal sainthood.  Tickets are available at the link below.  If you have questions, Email Becky Showalter

Link for tickets:

https://www.eventbrite.com/e/paulis-durham-history-of-racial-segregation-in-the-west-end-neighborhood-tickets-56352992317?janus_fv=exp_eb_86972_related_events_v2%3DA#tickets

“In sure and certain hope of the resurrection to eternal life through our Lord Jesus Christ, we commend to Almighty God our brothers and sisters and we commit their bodies to the ground; earth to earth, ashes to ashes, dust to dust.”
– BCP, Burial II, p. 502

As the congregation journeys through Lent toward the beauty and joy of the Resurrection and new life, the Nativity Memorial Garden will also undergo a time of transition, transformation, and rejuvenation.

The Memorial Garden is our community’s place for the reflection and remembrance of our loved ones who have have gone before us. This place of final repose is in need of major renovation and a long term plan for care and maintenance with accessible and safe paths, and additional spaces for committal of ashes. The Memorial Garden Rejuvenation group has and is working to meet the needs of today while planning for the future.

The Building and Grounds Ministry Team and the “Weekly Weeder” volunteers have maintained the Memorial Garden, however, the scope of the work that to be done is far beyond the abilities of these volunteers who generously give of their time. To that end, Lesley Troan, with input from the Buildings and Grounds Team, began meeting with interested members of the congregation in the summer of 2018. With Lesley, a core group of congregants have enlisted the services of arborists and a senior horticulture student from NC State University to increase the ambience, light, safety, and ease of maintenance of the Memorial.

The plan for the Memorial Garden focuses on our needs to conserve water, use native plantings (where feasible), maintaining the current woodland feel and limiting volunteer maintenance hours to 2 to 4 hours per month. The Vestry has approved the direction of the Memorial Garden Rejuvenation plan and the group will continue work under Buildings and Grounds. The Troan Foundation has provided a very generous grant in support of this project. The work is scheduled to begin this month.

The plan includes:

• Temporary relocation of the memorial stones and monuments
• Removal of five trees and removal, relocating, trimming, and pruning of branches and shrubs to improve light, air flow, and safety
• Add soil to stop sinking in areas of committal
• Add soil amendments to encourage growth and health of new and existing plant material
• Add plant material to meet the needs of low maintenance, water conservation, beauty, and include native plants when feasible
• Add universally accessible seating and second path
• Repair and restore Mrs. Hale’s Nativity angel

“We give you heartfelt thanks for the good examples of all your servants, who, having finished their course in faith, now find rest and refreshment.”
– BCP, Burial II, p.503