Author: Church of the Nativity

Kristin Edrington
Diaconate Intern

Discerning a call to the Diaconate has been one of the most amazing blessings in my life. I think back to all the conversations I have had throughout this process and each one has impacted my life, and my faith, in different ways. The people I have gotten to meet along the way have been gifts to my own discernment. People ask me a lot of questions about my feelings on the process. For each person who goes through a discernment your experience differs. We have all arrived at this point through different avenues. For me, I have been discerning a call for a better part of my life, for others it has maybe been a couple years or less. The ways in which you grow closer to God during a discernment is so wonderful, and God has been at work changing, shaping, and re-shaping my life.

For anyone who has ever felt a calling to discern the Diaconate (or Priesthood) I encourage it. Sit down with a clergy member or someone you know going through the discernment process and ask about their experience, and if you choose, share what you are feeling. Even if you do not move forward it is truly special what you can learn about yourself and your faith. The initial conversations are so meaningful and can teach you a lot about, well, everything! Not only does it teach you about faith but it can teach you about life, friendships, relationships, work, people, and much more. Even in the ten months I have been serving my internship I can say without a doubt that I am not the same as when I started (in good ways). The wisest words that were shared with me going into this process was to keep my heart open, and it has made all the difference.

I like to listen to Seth Godin’s podcast, Akimbo, and heard an interesting one the other day called “Benefit of the Doubt”. In this episode, Seth talks about the various ways we give people the benefit of the doubt, or not. He touched on:

When we give someone, or something, the benefit of the doubt, we offer trust.

Sometimes, we don’t know who or what to trust, so our brain will use shortcuts. For example, banks will make their physical buildings look solid and classic, so that we will find them solid and trustworthy.

We are most likely to give the benefit of the doubt to our friends.

Seth is a marketing and technology guru, and people give him the benefit of the doubt all the time. I did, by giving my time to listen to his podcast! I started thinking about this in terms of church and church evangelism.

A scary word, evangelism, that our brain takes certain short-cuts to give us associations that often lead to the high pressure sales techniques and dire warnings of hell and damnation. What if, instead, we thought about giving evangelism the benefit of the doubt?

Various studies have shown that 70-85% of people who start attending church do so because someone invited them. Not because they saw a slick marketing campaign, or Facebook ad, or saw church in the yellow pages (remember those!). At Nativity, some of our folks started coming because a friend either invited them directly, or they saw something posted on social media about our church and wanted to check it out.

When I think about offering the benefit of the doubt, I realize that often times I am suspicious when I think someone is trying to convince me of something or sell me something. Part of why I felt a call to ordained ministry was to talk to people about Jesus, and ironically, I think the image of the collar and being attached to an institution of the church makes people suspicious of me – NOT giving me the benefit of the doubt. They are perhaps worried, because their brain does that shortcut thing that everyone else’s does, that I am going to offer the scary evangelism techniques described above.

The best form of evangelism is to be a friend. To listen and be trustworthy. Be worthy of the benefit of the doubt. Someone you know might need a community like Nativity that welcomes everyone and believes we are all beloved children of God. Someone you know might be searching for the Good News of Jesus and to put down their burdens and rest in God’s love. Someone you know might need to bring their suspicions, their doubts, their hard questions to a community that not just tolerates that, but welcomes it.

Maybe that person would be willing to give you the benefit of the doubt. You’ll never know if you don’t ask.

From the Gospel reading appointed for Sunday, September 8:

Now large crowds were traveling with Jesus; and he turned and said to them, “Whoever comes to me and does not hate father and mother, wife and children, brothers and sisters, yes, and even life itself, cannot be my disciple.” Luke 14:25

10. Tell a charming anecdote that has nothing to do with the gospel passage, yet heartwarming enough to be the one thing people remember when they leave church.

 

9. Preach on the Psalm.

 

8. Find strange historical, biblical facts to distract congregation from what Jesus is saying and/or focus on one word translated from the original Greek and discuss the varied interpretations of the translation.

 

7. Tell a lot of jokes and/or use props.

 

6. Make the children’s sermon really really long so there’s no time for the “grown-up” sermon.

 

5. Talk about a current event in the news instead.

 

4. Have an interactive sermon and make the congregation talk to each other – what do YOU think Jesus meant?

 

3. Ask the organist to play a musical meditation in place of the sermon that day.

 

2. Preach on the Collect of the Day.

 

1. Assign the seminarian intern to preach.

 

Also from Sunday’s appointed Gospel reading:

“So therefore, none of you can become my disciple if you do not give up all your possessions.” Luke 14:33

 

What is your preacher going to do? Come to church on Sunday to find out!

Let mutual love continue. Do not neglect to show hospitality to strangers, for by doing that some have entertained angels without knowing it. -Hebrews 13:1-2

Have you ever noticed on the home improvement shows on HGTV, everyone looking for a new house or remodeling their current one says, “We love to entertain and need to make sure there is space for entertaining our guests. We just love to have people over.” It makes me wonder – is that a requirement to be on these shows? Hospitality must be a core virtue?

I think it makes me suspicious because the thought of having people over and “entertaining” for fun makes me personally incredibly anxious. I would love to see a show in which the people said, “We are actually cranky misanthropes who hate having people in our space, and we worry about being good enough to offer hospitality to others.” That feels much more honest to me, because the thought of entertaining people, and that they might be angels is frankly, terrifying.

Jesus, as usual, goes all in. In the gospel reading for Sunday, Jesus says to his host, “When you give a luncheon or dinner, do not invite your friends or your brothers or your relatives or rich neighbors, in case they may invite you in return, and you would be repaid.” (Luke 14:12) Not only should we offer hospitality, we should offer it to those we don’t even know, who don’t look like us, speak like us, parent like us, vote like us… As if offering hospitality to angels wasn’t terrifying enough.

Perhaps my real discomfort comes from the idea of being the one who is the guest, and who is unable to offer any payment in return. The idea of being a burden to someone, to take without giving back – there is a certain lack of power that is disconcerting. And yet, that is the grace that God offers to us. We have been redeemed by the one true host who has offered us a seat at the table, whether we are deserving of such a seat or not. The host who has invited us to a party with a cost that cannot be repaid.

May I be humble enough to accept the invitation. And wise enough to turn off HGTV.